Jack
Very Very Happy Halloween!
Posted by gwendolyn on October 29, 2003 at 09:23 PM
Those Teachable Moments
The decimal to percentage conversion pages in Logan's Math workbooks haven't proven to be very interesting to him up to this point. In fact, none of the pages have. Yesterday he ran across a website that allowed you to create a pie chart by entering data into to form. I let him mess around with it for a couple hours before explaining to him that those boxes where you type in numbers make each wedge a certain size. Those numbers represent a certain percentage and there is a way to divide those numbers by the whole so that you find out what percentage of the whole the wedge should be. Then I let it go.
He pondered that all evening and then decided first thing this morning that this was valuable to him to figure this thing out as it could pertain to his life somehow. He could see what parts of his day he spends doing what and he could adjust those percentages to reflect reaching more of his goals. So today we learned how to actually set up a pie chart.
I showed him how to make a list of all his activities, think of how much time he devotes to each thing, then figure out the percentages for that time. Then we plugged in the percentages and labled them and color coded the whole thing and it plopped out "The Big Pie Chart of Logan". I suggested that he could use that information in several ways. One would be to form a timeline of his day. Now he is in there on iCal plotting his entire day out, like we are ever going to keep a strict schedule. I don't know what is fueling this project but it is teaching him real life examples of time, math, percentages, decimals, planning, and management. So, I just let him keep going. I keep bringing up all of the variables such as park day, trips to the grocery store, random things that happen. He seems like he is doing it more for the concept of learning how to use the information and less for the need to have his entire day mapped out in iCal. I hope so. Life is too short to have it all nice and neat on paper in half hour intervals.
The History Channel is showing something on Lewis and Clark tonight and I think since we randomly picked that topic to read about when we were finally trying out our 100 years of National Geographic disks last week that we may try to catch the program about it. That is about as organized as I want to be.
Speaking of shows, we watched the Tricks or Treats special on Food Network a few nights ago. They are running a whole Halloween thing. I keep forgetting to turn it back on. We seem to have gotten sidetracked with some stupid sitcoms over the last two days. Unwrapped showed how they make Halloween shaped Peeps, candy corn, caramel apples, and all sorts of other good stuff. They take you into large factories and explain how the process is done and sometimes they take you into small family owned kitchens and show you how things were done for generations and passed down. I find that show particularly fascinating for some reason. It is absolutely wonderful for kids that constantly ask you "Mommy, how do they make....?" I have seen them make everything from crayons to Milk Duds. Watch Unwrapped for a couple years and you will have all the answers to the universe. Now they need to do an Unwrapped show to find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop. Actually, I think they may have already. The world will never know.
For someone who has never travelled to any other parts of the world or even to a vast majority of their own country, and are always wondering about what people eat in other places and where certain foods come from, Food Network is a very good thing. When I was four we lived in Salt Lake City, Utah. They didn't know what a coney was. I think it is called a chili dog there. That always freaked me out. When you are four you think everyone calls everything the same name. What we called pop in Ohio is called soda almost everywhere else. I was once told that in some places "Coke" is the generic term for all kinds of soda. I don't know how true that is. If I go into a place and order pop everyone knows where I am from. It must be a Midwestern thing. However, Now that I am an adult I understand the concept of regional food and different names people have for certain things. For example, a big pot of stew made of mussels, crabs, shrimp and various other sea creatures is a coastal thing. The whole thing makes me want to barf. I can't believe some of the things people who live by the ocean put into their mouths. Anyway, that was all random. I wasn't going anywhere with that.
Between Animal Planet, National Geographic, Food Network, The Weather Channel, The History Channel, The Discovery Channel, The Travel Channel and I am assuming The Science Channel (dunno don't have it yet), and possibly the Home and Garden Channel, not to mention all of their websites, there is quite possibly everything you could ever want to know about anything. Too bad it is so unhealthy to sit in front of television all day because there is no shortage of interesting and educational programming there.
Yesterday, Hope was singing the praises of some red eyed tree frog. I guess the mascot for Rainforest Cafe is one. I am sure she learned that somewhere on Animal Planet. I didn't know that and I am twenty-nine. At age four I don't think I would have known what a red eyed tree frog was unless it was something I would have found in my yard. I don't think I had those in Ohio. At that age I didn't know a fourth of the things they do about anything outside of my own four walls. I dare all those people who don't like Steve Erwin from The Crocodile Hunter show to quiz to any of my children about various wildlife creatures. My children hang on his every word. They think he is great. You don't get teaching like that just anywhere.
I started a semi-Waldorf project with Savannah and Hope. I drew H in the center of a white page for each of them and asked them to turn the letter into a Halloween picture using the H in the picture. I drew a picture of Hope dressed in her Tinkerbell costume and used the sides of the H as the sides of her hair and the center line of the H as the bottom of her face. She thought it was amazing. Hope turned the H into a ticket for a haunted house and Savannah turned it into the haunted house. So that worked well. I think I will try to do a different letter like that every day and then make them a book with all their drawings in it when they are done.
Posted by gwendolyn on at 02:40 PM
Just Another Day, Thankfully
Anything I could have possibly done today at home beats the hell out of what I was doing on this day last year. I woke up in my own bed, laying on my stomach. I took a big deep breath. I stood up and walked down the stairs. What a miracle that all is. You do it every single day without ever thinking about what life would be like if you couldn't do it. I am reminding you now to be thankful for it.
Well, I didn't manage to get to the hospital to say hello today. Honestly, I didn't make much of an attempt at all. It crossed my mind and then I figured I better just stay clear of the place. Instead I did all the normal mom stuff. We attempted to grasp the concept of making a pie chart for showing the percentages of time devoted to all of the activities we do each day. Reading was done. Dishes. Laundry. I even sewed troop numbers and various patches onto one brown sash. Somehow we didn't get a whole lot else done. One of Logan's friends was playing hooky from school today due to some scandal over a late field trip form. So he came over to hang out. Then this afternoon I did the hurried freeway jaunt to do the drop off/pick up thing at the troop meeting and burned up an hour with the other two window shopping in the bath and body section, smelling incense and trying out raspberry hand lotion at Whole Foods. All the good stuff.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 28, 2003 at 05:38 PM
Never Forget
One year ago yesterday marks the day he nearly killed me. I was dying a slow painful death and didn't even know it until four days after it started. Last night, we went out and enjoyed appetizers and drinks and a movie. I just couldn't help thinking repeatedly all evening how thankful I am that I made it. Tuesday marks the day that a couple dozen very important people started trying to save my life. I think I am going to go in for a visit. Show them all what a good job they did, tell them how thankful I still am for all of them. Well, most of them. There are a few who didn't treat me so great. They can all collectively kiss my ass.
I just don't think I could ever forget the past year. It was such a hard one. I hope the next one is better.
The Marlins won the World Series a little bit ago. That makes me even happier.
My mom in law is here and we have had yet another a good visit. I will be sad that she is going home tomorrow but it is okay.
It is a good time to be around.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 25, 2003 at 11:28 PM
The Devil Made Me Do It
The count down to Halloween is on. My children are very impatient. I promised them we would decorate today. I have both a feeling of triumph to have made it through the last year and not be on any meds or hooked up to any machines and then a tiny feeling kind of like dread at repeating all of the events leading up to Girl With The Almost X'd Out Eyes.
I strongly oppose making caramel apples this year. I like caramel apples but it will take a long time for me to ever want another one. That was nearly the last thing I ever tasted. For a long time I had considered them actually being an integral part of my near demise, like had I not come right home from being released from the hospital and participated in the tradition of making and eating of the caramel apples I would not have gotten perontinitis. Cursed poisoned devil apples.
Of course, that is the same illfounded reasoning it takes to get deathly sick from drinking various shots of rum and whiskey and licking, sucking and slamming tequila all night and then thinking you are drowning in a hot jaccuzi when really you are just so drunk you can't remember who or where you are. Try as you might to lay all the blame on that last shot of Quervo while you lament the whole thing as you lay on the floor of Eddie and Laura's bathroom straddling the toilet and swear to all the Gods that you will NEVER do that again if they will just let the room stop spinning, it was probably not all that last shot's fault.
Wait. That was me, not you.
Anyway, though I am sure it did have a very horrid impact on the state of my abdomen, I don't still seriously think that had I not eaten that one damned apple I would have been just fine. It wasn't anything I did. It wouldn't have mattered what I did or didn't do. So we are still not making caramel apples...at least not this year. Or maybe we should, to celebrate, eat them and laugh heartily in death's face.
On a different note, I am not sure if we achieved perfect Dirty Red but we did get a very red wall and it does look damn nice, even with the linens. It looks a lot closer to what I was going for than the first color did. When the morning light is coming through the vanilla curtains it takes on kind of an orangeish tone but is still very much red. When it is dark and just the lamp is on it is just red. It is quite a vibrant color to open your eyes to so the mellow light that the curtains are producing in the room is a perfect balance.
I think we are going to go ahead and paint the other three walls a very light tan color to make the room feel more complete. The chip we picked is called Oatmeal I think. I don't want a repeat of the chocolate milk room we had in Iowa and the butterscotch room we had at the other apartment. All of the bland names for different shades of brown you can handle right here in one place. I hope the very light soft tan we picked from the paint chips will go with the whole vanilla candle thing. It may throw off the whole mood. We'll see. He is pretty sure that if we do paint the other walls that is the color he prefers. He is probably right. If I went with a shade that was too much on the yellow side I would probably hate it with the red. It will all probably have to wait though.
Today is library day. So I must get on with it.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 22, 2003 at 10:13 AM
Throbbing Red
I did something so typically me this afternoon.
After staring at the wall in my bedroom for the last several weeks, still taped around the trim, still plastic on the floor, still streaky because of some seriously fucked up paint or primer (no one really knows which), I decided I had better go back and get more paint to fix it before my mom in law comes to visit this weekend. I am tired of the bed being pushed into the opposite corner. I am tired of walking around the ladder. I am tired of looking at the half finished project.
However, the nagging little voice in the back of my head that encourages me to do everything ass backward and makes me do things that usually end up making life that much more complicated talked me into buying a shade of red called Rapture that does not match the deeper (improperly named by me because it is not quite the Come Fuck Me Red shade I had envisioned it would be) color that is now on the wall. It is too tame. Too politically correct. Or something.
It is the shade that was specifically color matched to the red in my comforter and sheets that ended up bringing out how much the linens are more of a brownish red and not a true sexy Dirty red. The color of my linens make a good Autumn lipstick or nail polish color... on a day when you are wearing mismatched underwear and not aiming to have multiple orgasms. They are not the red of lace bra through a tight white top, no panties with a mini skirt and thigh highs. Not the color of lipstick that makes you feel sexy, you know, not that bright glossy lick-your-lips red, the color of loud thumping bass lines and fevered dewy skin, the color that inspires your inner exhibitionist. It's not Dirty Red. I wish for the day when you can go find paint chips that are really appropriately named. It would give whole new perspective to decorating for a particular mood or personality type. I had six reds to choose from in the brand he wanted. I got as close to Dirty Red as monkey is gonna let me get in that room.
I don't know what is going to happen when we slap it on over the darker color. It may make a shade somewhere in between the two. I am hoping it takes on the brighter shade of the new paint.
I am thinking that I may be able to make a duvet cover in some various shade of vanilla white. Maybe. I need that contrast, relaxing/soothing against passionate/bold/racy. I am all girly and like flowers but I am tired of the floral on the fabric anyway, reminds me of someone's grandmother. I am trying to talk Terry into hanging the salvaged wood shelf over the bed and then line the whole thing with vanilla pillar candles in various sizes.
I have the gauzy wrinkly vanilla curtains that used to be on my canopy bed still. I could hang them and it would pretty much complete the room. That is, if I don't decided the other three walls being white just doesn't do it for me. The nagging voice is telling me that I need to do the other walls to be really happy with the final look. I may have to try to talk him into doing them in a vanilla shade to make the whole thing work.
Pray to the paint Gods that it doesn't look like ass when we are done painting this new color on or I may never get him to paint again.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 21, 2003 at 05:06 PM
Guilty Pleasures
I have got to be the worst vegetarian/vegan that ever lived. Actually, I think I am finally just going to give up on the whole thing. I spent nearly two weeks eating absolutely no meat and only ate dairy probably no more than three times and now I am craving all things carnivorous.
I just pan seared a roast and plopped it into my recently acquired crock pot with potatoes and carrots and seasoning broth. I haven't cooked a pot roast in so long that it required two telephone conversations with various carnivorous mothers to make sure I didn't do it wrong. I think the last time I made a roast Logan was an infant. I would be totally pissed off to bite into a dry tough hunk of beef after all that sacrificing of my principles and all that veggie chopping.
It is only a small consolation to me that the meat is pesticide/antibiotic/hormone free, however it isn't organic grass fed beef. I have looked into that and I just can't afford such luxuries at the moment. Also, all the veggies except for two of the potatoes are organic. I guess that makes me feel a little better about it but only until I gain three pounds from merely looking at it. I am sure the lovely warm buttery yeast rolls that will accompany it won't help in that department either.
I don't know why I get like this. Maybe it is the Midwesterner internal clock that tells my brain that season change = more hearty food thing. Maybe my body is kicking into low iron gear and is trying to tell me something. That very well could be since the whole time I was in the hospital everyone kept insisting I had horribly low iron. Maybe I am turning into a vampire or a werewolf just in time for Halloween. All I know is this week I need lots and lots of meat. I just can't help it. Yeah. I know what you are thinking. That kind too.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 19, 2003 at 02:29 PM
Stupid McAsshole's School of Music
This must be the week for odd educational institutions, or something.
So we actually have names on our dance card today. It will most likely be a repeat of last week's afternoon at the pool. That is okay except for the fact that I really need a new swim suit and my face is still punishing me from covering it with Waterbabies last weekend. I really need to find something lighter with the same protection but that won't make my skin freak out. It doesn't like anything on it really. Make up, soap and moisturizers included. My face prefers to be naked no matter what I like to put on it.
We all went to the music education store down the street yesterday. They offer individual or group classes and from what I am told the pricing is pretty standard. However, the older man who owns the store is a complete freak. I got really bad vibes from him right off the bat. I instantly knew there was no way I was leaving any of my kids at that place unattended. That is my instant reaction to the bad vibe thing. Later my bad first impression was validated.
Last night on the playground I was told some odd stories by one of my neighbors about how he corners students to talk about the financial problems he may have with their parents and demands payment from them, instead of just telling them that he really needs to talk to their parents, or whatever.
Also, while we were there he got flustered and acted all freaky because I asked him if he sold Flute sheet music by Ian Anderson. He shook his head at me and proceeded to tell me how they only carry classical and inspirational music. Like I was a freak. Excuse me. Then two minutes later led me to the place where they keep all ten pieces of Flute music they carry which was right beside a rack of various rock and pop guitar and piano music. Okay, whatever. I wanted to say something about having to go to a real music store to find what I needed.
Another lady that came in after us inquired about the possibility of a day class for her three year old because her older sister would be in school after his offer of an afternoon class didn't fit well with her schedule. He practically stomped his feet and threw a tantrum like she was being extremely difficult to work with.
He insisted the girls should start on Keyboards and I nearly thought there was some valid reasoning for that until the three year old girl that belonged to the other lady was offered Violin. She was even younger than my two girls and had no prior experience either. It was as if he had absolutely no interest in what the children may want to learn, he just randomly picked whatever and then randomly made up fees and deposits for instrument rental off the top of his head. There was a younger guy there who was trying to explain a price sheet for the actual lessons to me and the older man kept interrupting and throwing in more prices, usually upping the printed ones by about $5.00 each.
My neighbor's daughter takes electric guitar lessons there and he insisted upon registration that she supply him with a signed paper consenting to debiting her checking account and she gave him this signed form with her account number and routing number and now after two months he has suddenly lost it and wants her to pay him by check too. He can't promise that the other person who actually does the books won't find the form and then debit her account anyway. It sounds like a crock of shit to me. I still can't believe she would be so stupid as to sign something like that and just give him all her account info.
My mind keeps wandering back to the fact that nearly no one in my family ever took lessons to play guitar and still managed to become pretty talented at it and that even though it would probably be the easiest and most proper way to learn, it is not impossible to teach yourself. Also, the husband/dad of the mother and daughter that are coming over today owns a guitar store and plays extremely well. He has offered to help Logan learn some things after he has initially learned to read music and learn the basics on the instrument. He plays by ear and doesn't know how to read music. However, he is really good at it. So, why couldn't Logan and I get some beginner books and figure it out on our own? The biggest thing it would require is purchasing a guitar. Which we would have to buy anyway. If it didn't work out we could always resell it. Maybe in the process we could find someone sane to help.
So I want the children to learn whatever instrument they want. The girls are always begging me for a turn at trying my flute when I do play for them so I think that it wouldn't hurt to maybe get them started with Recorder after all. After talking to this guy about the possibility of the girls learning Recorder as a precursor to learning Flute he insisted that I do not know what I am talking about. He said that they are in no way related at all and it would not help to first learn Flute to learn Recorder later, he led me over to the Recorder sheet music and told me that I could also play any of it on Flute just the same. Um, duh. I thought they weren't in any way related.
I ended up purchasing a very easy Disney movie theme song book for Recorder that I could learn and play for the children to spark their interest a little. The classical music for Flute looked appealing and all grown up but since I need a refresher course I need to know what the songs are supposed to sound like while I am relearning to play properly. I actually spotted the very first song book I ever learned on the shelf. I wanted to buy it so much. I wish I had my old one. I don't know why I don't. That is so sad. I was in fourth grade. I may go back and get it later. I will use the excuse that I need it for the kids later. Then Terry will have to suffer through Row Row Your Boat and When the Saints Go Marching In like I am nine years old again. Woohoo!
They had a great time last night singing along while I stumbled through site reading songs from The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast. I am so rusty but after playing for about an hour I started to actually sound like I knew what I was doing. My flute actually sounded like it wasn't broken so I am starting to wonder if it wasn't me that just couldn't hit the notes properly. Go me! So that idea worked out good. Mr. McAsshole also tried to sell me a Christmas song book that included an accompaniment cassette tape with it but what the hell am I going to do with a cassette tape unless I plan to sit in Ferris while I play? That is the only cassette player we own now. Not to mention he called the cassette tape a CD several times while he was trying to sell it to me which annoyed me greatly. Dork.
I did see a book with Phantom of the Opera in it that I wouldn't mind having. We played a Phantom of the Opera medley in school so I am sure I could relearn that pretty easily too. I need easy practice songs until I get all up to speed. I did find the Ian Anderson Flute Solo book I was looking for on Overstock.com for practically nothing last night so that thrilled me a little. I will maybe order it this weekend. So anyway, I am a geek. Bite me.
In other news, I am glad the Marlins won last night but for the love of God someone make those men stop spitting so freaking much. I am completely tired of watching them spit various things all over the place.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 16, 2003 at 10:46 AM
Dirty's School of InstaMorals
Me: Logan, how are you liking The Adventures of Tom Sawyer?
Logan: I really like it.
Me: Yeah, but do you understand the dialect? Do you understand what the story is about?
Logan: Yeah, except I have some questions. Like, I don't understand why they call Injun Joe a half-breed. What is a half-breed?
Me: Well Logan, half-breed is a very negative way of referring to someone who comes from two different races. Like one of his parents was a Native American and one was of some other heritage. It is not a nice thing to call someone at all.
Logan: Oh. (then a weird pause where you could see by his expression that all of that was sinking in) Also, there is this other word. I think it is nigger (he pronounced it nee-ger). There is no pictures in the book of a nigger so I don't know what it is.
Me: Logan, nigger is a very bad word that white people used to call people who are black. It is a horrible word. Most all people are very offended by that word now. Everyone except ignorant hateful people. Only those people call anyone that. We don't. I think the politically correct term is African American. Since I am not entirely sure of all the politically correct terms lets just stick with calling everyone people. That is what we all are. We are all humans.
Logan: (smile creeping over his face) Yeah, we are all in the same boat.
He is reading The Whole Story version of it published by Viking. It "includes the complete unabridged text as originally published plus it has been annotated with hundreds of extended captions: explanations of history, geography, popular culture, social customs, the animal world, architecture, literature and science. It has also been illustrated in color and black and white, with line drawings, maps, photographs, diagrams, and paintings that date from when the story was written."
I initially suggested the book because it is about boys his age and I thought maybe he could relate or identify with them. I was trying to think of different "boy books" to spark his interest. He hadn't really picked up many books since finishing the LOTR trilogy and the fifth HP. I had not thought of all of the other aspects of it and the things the story represents. I didn't plan to pick it apart with him. We read for pleasure around here. Still, somehow he either managed to miss the whole issue of racism or the book didn't explain it very well. I will have to take a look later. Also, it was sitting on a stand at the library with a sign over it that said something like "These are some of the books that have been banned in other places." So, of course, I flip out that a Mark Twain book has been banned somewhere and that makes me want Logan to read it more.
Even though we have briefly discussed slavery and equality issues I don't think he has a grasp on the entire concept. I don't know whether to be happy that he has had the good fortune of not being raised to be aware of such racist language (unfortunately I was) or sad that he is becoming aware. I guess it is a necessary evil, to teach them that the world was (is) so messed up. I suppose I misled him by saying that people don't use those words anymore. I guess I should clarify that. I wish I didn't have to.
Then the conversation shifted and we started talking about the issue of taking the Lord's name in vain. I guess the boys in the book are very good at that too. I explained how that all works and then quickly reminded them of all the ways I constantly do that. They all giggled at what a potty mouth their mother has. I told them that people who are Christian and believe in God and Jesus and the Bible don't say any of those things either. So if that is what they choose to believe then when they grow up, and have the choice of cursing or not cursing, they won't say things like "Christ on a stick!" either. I have Uncle Bob to thank for planting that one in my brain. Then I was very thankful they all lost interest in the conversation and went on their merry way.
What an interesting hour in the monkey house.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 15, 2003 at 03:18 PM
The Growing List Of Things To Do In January
Well, certain people in my house are still constantly thinking about the K9 issues but it has slowly wound down to researching future possibilities. I am glad it has calmed down. I just really don't know what to do about all of that. We can't even afford to buy or keep a puppy until next year so there can't be a rush about it.
Logan expressed a possible interest in playing baseball yesterday. I am totally clueless about how to get him involved in that. I am a bit concerned over the fact that at ten he would be a beginner and how that all works out. He played tee ball when he was five but that is the extent of his experience with team sports. I asked one of the other mothers who was picking up her Brownie from the meeting yesterday and she said something about baseball starting back up in January. I will have to find out the details. I feel so "in the dark" as a mother some times. I was never allowed to participate in anything except for playing flute so I don't know how that all works.
He also has shown an interest in learning to play guitar. Coming from a family full of musicians and not knowing how to play and not having the ability to access the dozen or so people and zillion instruments in the family who could actually teach him, is yet another reminder of how disconnected I am from where I came from.
I always wanted my mother to teach me guitar but it never happened. I don't know why. I always supposed it was because I was left handed and she was right handed but I am guessing it was more because she was disinterested in showing me anything she knew or letting me use her guitars. Maybe she thought I would never get it. Maybe she didn't care either way. She played and sang all the time though when I was little. I think it was theraputic for her and she kind of went into her own little world. Maybe she resented us so much she didn't want us in that world. It was her thing. Whatever.
So, as soon as the van is gone there is a list of things to do. It goes something like: vacation, guitar, baseball, dog.
Another homeschooling mother who plays flute (very very well I gather) has offered to come over and teach the girls to play recorder. It is a beginner instrument. I may look into aquiring a couple of those. It would get them used to an instrument and help them learn without all of the reach and heaviness of a flute for such little arms and fingers. However, I think I could probably teach them myself. I can read music and I am sure the recorder isn't hard to learn. I think I just kind of want to be the one who does that with them if I can. Weird, I know. It is that bonding thing I didn't have.
Actually, I have two pentatonic flutes and a few song books that I bought when we were planning to do the Waldorf curriculum. I should get that all out this afternoon and learn some songs so that I can teach the kids starting next week. Good idea.
I mentioned having a flute to her this past week and that I think there is something wrong with one of the keys and that it had been repadded about twelve years ago and that I rarely play now so I suspect that it has a bent key or something. She asked me to bring it to park day and said that she would love to hear me play. Even though I played for eight years in school I was never very good to begin with and I am extremely rusty now so I am a bit nervous about playing anything in front of someone who plays regularly and is talented at it. I don't know if I will take it or not. I would like very much to have her look at it to see what is damaged though. It is just a student flute and it is twenty years old. Christ. Twenty years. I have had it for twenty years. God. That just floored me. No wonder the very few pages of sheet music I have kept since grade school look as old as they do. So now I feel the urge to go practice. I only have two days if I am going to play for her in front of all the moms. The kids like it when I do that.
Posted by gwendolyn on at 10:51 AM
Fred and Snoopy Reunite
I may possibly go to hell for being the worst mother on Earth.
Fred came home with us last night. I have absolutely nothing against him. He is a really great dog...just not for this family. I am thinking a Beagle isn't quite what we had in mind. According to all of my research yesterday, they have a one track nose. When this happens their brains shut completely down. We were outside no less than five times in the course of three hours. We even took him for what is probably the longest walk (actually he kind of dragged us) of his whole three year life and he was calm for about an hour and then was up and going again. Fred has a slight weight issue so we thought he was going to drop at any moment he panted so much. This was also the sniffingest and peeingest dog I ever met. He also did not come when called, or sit down when told, or seem to know what the hell we were saying to him. I understood why Fred was like this a little more when I learned that in Fred's home English may not have been his first language. Poor Fred didn't know what the hell we wanted. He didn't even really respond to his name being called, or whistling, or patting of the knees and urging him to follow us. This wore me out quickly.
The inability to leave Fred for any period of time also became completely absorbed by my brain about an hour after he arrived. This means no weekending, no vacation, no Sunday drives, no anything. We could not leave Fred in our new and strange house. Judging by his temperament that meant never. I fully believe he could probably destroy a house in less than an hour should he choose to get too bored.
There was also one other huge issue with keeping Fred. It seems that he has another Beagle buddy back home named Snoopy. He also was fed from the family's dinner and preferred the couch or bed to the floor or his sleeping pillow. I am a horrible mean person for saying this...but I am just not very cool with that. I liked the snuggly part of him sitting on my lap on the couch but I was not very thrilled at the thought of his nails ripping the upholstery (yes even that damned cursed couch) or brand new purple velvet comforters. In fact, I just sucked up enough dog hair in my vacuum to make some poor bald man a thick salt and pepper dog hair wig. Ew. I just grossed myself out. Anyway...
Fred woke up at 2:30 a.m. and growled at Logan from the floor in front of his bed. Logan, of course, was terrified to get up. Fred whined and paced so Logan screamed for me to come help him. I got up, went down, let Fred out of Logan's room thinking maybe he needed a drink or something. Fred wanted to play. He was all excited. Then Fred got so excited that he peed on the floor in the living room. Peed. At 2:30 in the morning. I was completely enraged for about three seconds then I just told Fred what a bad thing that was and took him down to the end of the street to pee again. Then I came back in and cleaned up the mess and, being my normal freaky self, could not just clean it up, I had to shampoo the carpet.
So at 3:00 this morning I was shampooing any and all traces of Fred pee out of the carpet. I am sure my neighbors love me. Logan was trying to help and I appreciated it but I was in a very bad mood. Fred knew he was in trouble so he tried to hide under the table and then under Logan's bed. I pulled Fred by the collar back to his sleeping pillow and told him to "Stay" in a tone that is usually reserved for when the children have just gotten on my last nerve and "heads are about to roll". Fred didn't move. I instructed Logan to watch "his dog" until he went to sleep. Hid did. I huffed up the stairs and had a good tearful rant at a very tired Monkey about just how not ready I am for this.
All of the kids tried really hard not to be afraid of Fred. It was obvious to all of us that they all were extremely freaked out everytime he came near them. Even Logan. He wants a dog so much yet he is still so nervous around them. I just don't know what to do with him.
So this morning we all had a long talk about Fred. We let Logan make the final decision about taking Fred back to his home, which he did only because he knew Terry and I were really not clicking with Fred (or the idea of Fred) as much as we had hoped we would. He was destroyed emotionally. He has cried all day. He keeps trying to be okay but he isn't. As much as he knows that Fred wasn't "the dog" for him, it was a dog. The closest he has been to his dream of having one. He wasn't really understanding what "trial run" meant. I think he just thought that we would all live happily ever after. I am so sad for him about the whole thing. I feel like it is mostly me that couldn't deal with it though I know that the not going anywhere would quickly become an issue with Terry. However, Logan doesn't hear any of it. All he hears is he couldn't keep his dog. I feel like total and complete shit.
However, we called Fred's house to let them know we weren't going to be able to keep him and the lady informed us that Fred's Beagle buddy Snoopy had also been up at 3 a.m. looking for Fred and whining and being generally unhappy. So, that makes me feel a bit better. Fred did whine at the window a little so I think he was wanting to go home. So upon hearing that they both acted this way the lady stated that it was probably going to have to work out that they either keep both Fred and Snoopy or that they will have to both be given to the same family. That made the whole thing a little easier. I still feel like a shitty mom though.
Terry said that Fred acted totally different when he arrived home. He was so much happier and was like a totally different dog. He knew where he was before he ever got out of the van and his whole body language and the way he was acting was as if he was very thankful to be back home where he belonged. I sure do hope that if they give Fred away again that they send Snoopy with him. I really hope they change their minds and just keep them. I hate to think of how traumatized the poor things are when they are just sent away.
I told Logan that we would work on it. I don't know how soon it will be but we will get him a dog. I will have to figure out how to deal with it I guess. I can't stand to see his heart so broken.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 11, 2003 at 07:29 PM
Dog Days
There is a show on Animal Planet about an organization that places dogs with appropriate owners. They screen the prospective families and then place the animals with the best fitting home. Logan is so desperate to have a dog that he has resorted to quietly sulking in front of this program daily.
For a long time now I have been saying that we need a dog. We have never had a dog. I usually am not a lover of indoor pets. Maybe this is just because they are not my own. One of the major factors to us not already having a dog is that every one we have thought of getting would cost a fortune from a breeder. None of us really wanted to just go pick up a dog from a shelter. We want to make sure the dog we get is child friendly and comes from a good place. I could not run the risk of rescuing a dog with more issues than me even. So we just haven't yet.
I am a bit worried about the idea of having a dog and not being able to go on trips. We don't travel that often though. We are home most every day, all day. We have plenty of love to give to a dog. Logan needs something or someone to bond with, a best friend. Watching my children envy all of the other pet owning children at Show and Tell at the park today only confirmed that I am probably the worst mother in the world for not having let them aquire pets.
I suggested that if we couldn't get a dog maybe we should get them something small and low maintenance, like the hermit crabs a couple of the little girls had today. It seems to be all the rage at the moment. I am not particularly fond of creepy crawlies though, nor am I fond of the rodent varieties. I dunno why but I am just not. Terry was not agreeing much with that whole hermit crab idea. One mom made a point about hermit crabs not being able to love you back like a dog can. This is true. Logan, especially, needs that bond boys have with their dogs.
So, the playing went on as usual. We let the pet issue go once again.
Then this afternoon Terry called me from work to ask me if I really wanted a dog. It seems there is a lady at work who just had a new baby and already has another dog and for whatever reason feels overwhelmed and really needs to find a good home for Fred, the three year old Beagle. Word has it that Fred is housebroken. Fred is pretty darn cute in the picture Terry sent me. I think I like Fred already. We are going to meet Fred and his family this evening. Fred just may spend the weekend at Casa Eaton for a trial run. We'll see.
We have been reading up on all things Beagle. I think that Logan will have met his match. I am not sure how the girls will react to an excited energetic dog. You could not even begin to imagine Logan's excitement. If, for some reason, we don't end up with Fred, Logan will be crushed. Being the momma is so hard sometimes.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 10, 2003 at 09:42 PM
Back Tracking
So I managed to save most of the pink items from a trip to the landfill. A printed VS nightgown that got bleached isn't tinted pink anymore but it isn't exactly the original colors. Still it looks okay. Anyway, I can't buy the red couch now. Though technically the deal was that I wouldn't spend anymore money on stuff like that if everything came out back to normal, it is all close enough to make me think I better not go back on it. Me and my stinking deals with God.
Aside from dinner last night, which involved baking something with (naturally fat free) beef boullion in it, I have been about 99% dairy and meat free. The other 1% includes whatever dairy is in the breads I have been consuming and a couple Hershey Kisses. Mostly I am shooting for everything naturally low fat but I know that low fat, no dairy, no meat thing makes me drop pounds like crazy. It is way too brain and budget consuming to buy everything in both vegan and non vegan so I am not going to sweat regular bread and pasta. That just gets way too complicated.
They like my vegan butter so there is no problem dropping the $5.00 per pound organic real butter I have been buying them. They don't care either way. Logan is the only one who has an issue with rice milk vs. cow milk but he doesn't drink enough of either to really care much. He will eat rice milk on cereal but he can't just drink it. I don't really blame him, I am the same way. If he gets a craving for the real stuff I will buy him a quart of organic. (I know all of the midwestern mother's out there are shaking their heads thinking his poor little bones will snap any second.) Relax. He gets plenty of vitamins and he eats like a horse. Anything and everything and he is most definitely a carnivore. Not that I think that is such a good thing.
I am going to have to drag the blender back out to the countertop to make me remember to make smoothies since bastard Jamba Juice is stupid expensive enough to make a family of five go broke. It is one thing to just pop in alone and buy a smoothie. When you buy five at a time it seems stupid expensive. Especially when the other four family members don't consider that filling enough to count as a meal.
Anyway, I have been shopping at the Publix that is a block away from the house. It has a crappy selection of organics so I am tempted to throw the convienence of it being so close out the window and return to trekking over to Whole Foods. It is a shame though. It is nice that it is so close. I could even walk if I waited until the evenings to go.
So, I have been buying all of the foods that I can remember buying when I was melting away. Terry's finding goodies in the freezer that he claims to not have eaten since the last time we lived here. When we moved there lots of things changed. I am glad it is all coming back to us now.
Yesterday, we spent a majority of the morning and early afternoon at the pool. Then we came home and as soon as I got us all bathed and fed everyone insisted we needed to go to the playground. So we were out there for a good chunk of time in the evening. The kids were digging a hole and happened to uncover a pile of turtle eggs in the middle of the playground. Stinky. They covered them back up.
I have met a lot of my new neighbors and there are a handful that we see nearly everyday on the playground. So that is nice. It is pretty much the same group of kids out there steadily so the kids have made a handful of friends that they play with. One of the mom's from Friday park days is bringing her daughter over on Thursday to go to the pool and hang out with us and the other homeschooling mom (whom I am already kind of friends with from before I got sick) who is also Savannah's Brownie leader called last night and wants to get together this week sometime. She has two girls the ages of my girls. Maybe things are looking up on that front. Logan still needs to find someone his age that he really connects with, that he could hang out with all the time. I still don't think he has found that here with these kids. It is more of a random "we all live on the block" kind of thing.
I am off to paint the bedroom red. I still hadn't gotten to that.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 07, 2003 at 11:37 AM
Pretty In Fucked Up Pink
I put all of my expensive summer sweaters, good linen and cotton tops and frilly, yet machine washable, not cheap nightgowns and all around delicate objects into one pile. I am a bit of a laundry snob. These things must be washed separately from the rest of the normal everyday nonspecial laundry. Sometimes these things will accumulate for a week and then I wash them all in one load as most of them are white or ivory or light colors.
Yesterday I carefully swooped them all from the top of the dryer to the washing machine, poured in the detergent, slammed down the lid and flicked the switch on. Went on my merry way.
Last night, as I was bribing Terry to hang up my tops and nightgowns for me while I ran to Publix to retrieve his pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and various other items, he opened the lid and discovered all of my best stuff was now a pile of pinkish splotchy heartbreak.
Everything. Ruined.
It seems that as I was swooping I managed to accidently scoot a burgandy placemat into the machine with my stuff. These were also in their own little pile on one corner of the dryer as they are the most color bleeding bastard pieces of cloth I have ever had the unfortunate experience of owning. I knew I should have thrown those fucking things in the garbage a long time ago.
So, every item of clothing I owned worth having (and the only things that barely still fit me) is now sitting in a Carbona Color Run soak. For the second time. The first time didn't work. Then I Cloroxed the hell out of the load, which probably just ruined everything even more, but what the hell am I going to do with pink swirled clothes? They were still pink this morning. So now they are soaking in some chemical stew. How long should I torture myself before I give up?
This is some sort of sick punishment God is giving me for that whole red thing, isn't it?
Note to God: I swear I won't spend any more money buying the freaking red couch if you just turn my stuff the right colors again.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 02, 2003 at 03:44 PM
Playing House
Savannah has been a Brownie one whole day and already we are selling nuts. Thankfully, she has very generous grandparents.
Logan's bedroom is 99.9% finished. Very purpley. I need to buy him two more pillows and possibly a lamp for the corner. I need to start thinking about framing some stuff for his walls. He has some artwork and there are some Harry Potter and LOTR stuff I am sure he would like to have on the walls.
I need to really work on my bedroom this weekend. Painting. Decorating decisions. Shoving of half unpacked stuff into the closet. Washing of lots of panties. So much to do.
I saw my red couch on a commercial last night. It happens to come with a set of lamps that match my favorite candlesticks. It is so tempting to buy crap even when you know it is bad bad bad.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 01, 2003 at 02:37 PM