Posted by gwendolyn on March 13, 2002 at 12:43 AM

I have been really busy over the past few weeks reading and thinking. We are jumping off of the unschooling boat. There has been too little parental involvement and too much unwelcome educational freedom, which has ultimately led to conflicts of monumental proportions in the monkey house. We began very content with the daily happenings and general feeling of relaxation regarding "school". As much as I love the idea of child-led learning and agree wholeheartedly with the idea that children should be given more than just text books and worksheets and tests, the initial satisfaction is over and ultimately it has led to undeniable laziness and boredom on everyone's part. As with most things in life, the lesson has to be learned. I doubt seriously that we could have come to a new understanding of where we are going without first taking this time to let go of where we have been. So it has not been all for nothing. This seems to be the way with us. There are a lot of stepping stones along our path.

I haven't decided what it is that has brought us to where we are. I want to believe in fate. I try to believe that things happen for some greater purpose. I have recently had the chance to spend time with someone very different than most people I have met. Which is good for me because I tend to feel as though I think a little bit differently than the general population. Initially, I had met her about a year ago at a dinner. As we shared our backgrounds we happened upon discussion about growing up in the country and that way of life involving a lot of simplicity in living and it's value and also about the benefits we want to give our children of learning through rhythms of natural life processes and strong nurturing. Though this was a very light conversation and isn't meant to be taken as the basis for my friendship with her or the things I have learned and am learning from her, it is a simple example of the appreciation I have for her and the similarities in our way of thinking. At the time, I think what stuck in my mind was the part of the conversation we had about the Amish people that lived in the area that I had been in while in Iowa. We had both shared an admiration for their simplistic lifestyle and for their endurance and devotion to their lives and work despite modern conventional thinking. It was strange to actually talk to someone who shared that opinion when most people I have talked about my interest and perception of basic Amish life ways have little more than stupid jokes to contribute to the conversation. I am not talking about their religion. I don't know enough about their beliefs (or any others for that matter) to comment on that aspect of it. I am talking about the way they live efficiently and simply and their sense of community. I am talking about their reverence for the world in which we live by the way they preserve it. The one our technologically advanced society is destroying for future generations. Yes, myself included. You don't have to be a tree hugger to understand or appreciate the seriousness of our destructiveness as a modern civilization.

My interest and understanding of the method has grown with my ability to observe her, the way my children interact with her, as well as her children and how they interact with other people. The way that she chooses to teach children, though in a more conventional setting than the Amish, still reflects and teaches the simplistic values while nurturing the individual during various physical, intellectual, and spiritual phases determined through close observation of the student by the teacher and also the relationship and understanding between the individuals about what the student needs. It subtly yet extensively teaches academics while more importantly nurturing body, mind, and soul. It speaks about the importance of nature through the use of organic materials, holistic ideas and appreciation for all elements of nature. This inspires me.

Any particular religious beliefs can be applied to this way of learning as all cultures and religions are explored. The founder Rudolf Steiner held Anthroposophical beliefs, which are the foundation of the method. I am learning more about those beliefs and concepts as I get deeper into the study of the method but do not fully understand that aspect of it all as of yet. It may or may not be applied to the method if you use it. That choice is an individual one. The curriculum I am using is inspired by this method yet has been designed to be applicable whether or not you choose to apply the religious aspects as a belief system within your own family , and is designed for the home schooling family so that it is gently guided to accommodate phases of development and understanding yet is still very much shaped and molded by the teacher and student needs. It is a good starting point.

At the time of my first meeting my friend, I had very little insight into the background or concepts of this method. This was not a meeting to discuss this topic just a causal introduction between moms within the home schooling community we live in. I held on to the very basic ideas that were presented and identified with a lot of the core principles of what this approach had to offer. Even though I didn't feel at the time that our family connected enough with the way of life that this learning process required, the interest and admiration for the concepts were there. I could see where the concepts were applicable to the struggles we were having with school and more importantly the struggles we are having now as we find our way through home schooling. As I am learning more about the "how" and "why" of it all I am understanding the purpose for everything I didn't understand before. So much of what I found to be unconventional has really become and invaluable part of the process.

I kept it all simmering in the back of my mind for over a year. In the meantime I chose a different path for lack of understanding enough at the time about the method to be secure in it, lack of certainty in my own ability to separate myself from more conventional thinking, and also for the sake of my natural inclination to allow unlimited freedom for the children to pursue their own interests. While unschooling, I put a lot of choices on small shoulders that weren't ready to deal with them. Now I am understanding why this was a mistake on my part.

Among all of the other self revelations, I also understand why I now miss my house in Iowa more and more all the time and why after the long winter depression and the sudden move (just when I decided I didn't want to leave) surface a lot. I love the ocean. I love where I am. I don't want to go anywhere now. There is just something about the simplicity of where we were that I miss as well as the natural surroundings and the security. I think if given the chance to go back there with the understanding I have now, I would have a lot more appreciation for the house itself and what the surroundings had to offer. We grow and change all the time. I was not the person then that I am now. Thankfully, I grow and learn all the time.

In recent months, I had thought about this whole thing often. What was it about all of this that interested me so much? It was clear to me at the time that it was a path not chosen by the majority, not even within the home schooling community. Were these tiny yet growing similarities in ideals and values enough to make me think harder about the method I chose for us and how we might benefit if I redirect my approach to reflect those similarities? I share her desire for having a deeper understanding and more meaningful experiences with teaching and raising children as well as the crucial importance of the learning process in all of our lives and nurturing the individual as a whole being and not just a brain to recite meaningless facts. It is a concept referred to as teaching through head, heart and hands.

It was the fact that there was opportunity for me to approach it casually through socialization between us and our children that relieved the pressure of uncertainty and doubt I still felt about it all. I have had the opportunity to confirm what I suspected, that she is indeed genuine in her concern and love for children, and also in her devotion to teaching their entire being on an individual level. She has found this within herself through her learning of this approach. My children and I are drinking it up like sponges and I am finding that we are very naturally redirecting ourselves in more positive and creative ways in the very little time we have been applying the basic principles.

And so with that I am delving into observing and mentoring with her and doing all of the reading and thinking I can, trying to fully understand what I must about nurturing the human spirit and understanding the development of human nature so that I might apply what I learn to my own life and my own teaching. It is difficult to teach and apply to your children what you have never experienced on the receiving end of your own life, parenting or otherwise. We must not be afraid to do what is best even if that means reflecting on what is wrong with our present and finding the answers to what is right for our future. All children deserve no less than everything positive we can possibly give them. If we continue to fail them now, we fail the future of the human race.

Heavy thinking. I know. Sue me.