I just got home from a day spent trying to get into a boat show, which was pleasant yet unsuccessful. We could go back with the proper amount of paper currency tomorrow instead of a checkcard and try again, but we probably won't because we came to the realization that we can pick any day of the week to tour boat yards and see yachts for free. I would have loved to join the masses trekking in and out of them single file today, mostly because it would have given Terry much to think about and become absorbed with, since the boat thing was his ideal alternative to a motorhome to begin with.
We had Filet Mignon and baked sweet potatoes and mixed green salads for dinner. I had forgotten how much I really liked that. It was nothing like the nasty feeling I got when I ate fish from a fast food restaurant a while back. That had jaded the idea of ever going back to being a carnivore. The steak was good though. We were amazed at our ability to get entirely stuffed from a seven ounce steak. I actually would prefer to skip at least one if not both side dishes in the future. I do love salad though. I just didn't really need all of what I had to fill me up. Next time I want a glass of red wine with it. I have had a headache for three days so I didn't think it would be a good idea.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 27, 2001 at 09:48 PM
After speaking with a nutritionist-in-training last night at the Whole Foods Market, we were introduced to the concept of eating properly for our blood type. She shares my bloodtype and had previously been vegetarian for six years and had a lot to share with me concerning all of my recent obstacles and problems I am experiencing physically. Her immediate reaction was to tell me that type O people require animal protein in their diets and that my weight gain could have a lot to do with my high carbohydrate consumption. I am gathering information that suggests that I would work more efficiently on red meat and green leafy veggies. I am going to do whatever it takes. I am constantly up and down ten pounds each way on the scale and I feel like absolute shit because I haven't taken more than ten steps at one time in this tiny apartment. At least the other apartment had two flights of stairs to run up and down all day. That made all the difference! So, If I am going to actually get to my goal weight and physical condition I am going to have to get off my ass and change something. It feels like I took ten steps forward and five steps back. What worked when I was sick, isn't working now. I need energy. I don't have any. That is why I don't feel like working out. I am tired. If lifting me up means that I eat medium rare filet mignon and spinach for every meal.....bring it on. I will regain momentum and I will beat down this wall, physically and mentally.
I feel a Henry Rollins moment coming on.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 26, 2001 at 12:27 PM
On a good note- round one of my attack is now over. From the beginning of October to today I have knocked out a $5,007.31 chunk from the big ol mountain of hell that is our credit card debt. There is still another few days left too and my regular payments just went out so that should take off another few hundred. Everybody cheer!
Posted by gwendolyn on October 25, 2001 at 09:14 AM
About my set of unused Corningware baking dishes my aunt bought me for Christmas the year before I got married...
gw3nd0lyn: there is 10 pieces to it
gw3nd0lyn: If i had family outside of us that we would get together with, i would not get rid of it
gw3nd0lyn: if i had friends to have pot lucks with, i would keep it
gw3nd0lyn: it is actually a constant reminder that we are pretty lonely most of the time
gw3nd0lyn: those sort of dishes are for Christmas dinners and Thanksgivings
gw3nd0lyn: and for picnics and family reunions
gw3nd0lyn: they aren't for people like me
gw3nd0lyn: i keep holding on to it because it is pretty
gw3nd0lyn: but it isn't practical unless you use it.
eatonte: yeah
Funny how the little things remind you of what and who you are.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 24, 2001 at 04:14 PM
My mother told me last night via Instant Message that my Grandfather died this past Saturday. He was actually my step-Grandfather on my father's side. In my heart he was, in fact, the only real Grandpa I had.The sort of man he was makes me very proud. He was a good person. He was the only real "father figure" I can say I ever really had as a child. Most importantly, he never ever once hurt me or anyone I love. Again, I regret that I was not there for him. I regret that he never knew my children. At least, in a small way I know that he knew half of the reason I wasn't there. Strangely, that provides some comfort. Also, like my Great Grandmother on my mother's side, he died of Alzheimer's Disease. I knew he hadn't been well for many years, but it came as sort of a shock. I still don't think it is fair that the good people are all dying and the horrible ones seemingly live forever.
I wanted to post his obituary here because he was a very upstanding man and died with many accomplishments and honors. I wanted to show you why I am proud that he was my Grandpa. When I thought about it, I realized that I would need to take out names and places and dates and cut it all up. I just would not want my privacy invaded, nor my children's safety jeapordized because a search engine allowed certain people who would like to hurt us, or to just generally torment us, to find us that way. So, I decided not to post it at all.
Posted by gwendolyn on at 09:51 AM
If I didn't have children I would live in my car.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 23, 2001 at 04:24 PM
Once upon a time, he drew pictures of skulls on the bottom of my feet with an ink pen.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 22, 2001 at 11:24 AM
I have been periodically dabbling with scrapbooking. I am starting to get the hang of it but I lack the funds to get as creative as I would like to be with it. Well, it isn't that I lack the funds. I just can't justify buying paper cutouts and cute little shapes and borders and stickers at the moment. I am on a mission. I can't start roaming off the straight and narrow now. There will be plenty of time to scrapbook when I am lounging on my boat...rv....yeah, whatever.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 18, 2001 at 04:25 PM
My mother had dental surgery yesterday. I guess she had some serious problems. Last week she told me that she wished I was there to go with her because she was kind of scared. She is okay, but she cannot talk because of the pain, so I can't call her. Just another thing that makes me feel very disconnected. :(
Posted by gwendolyn on at 08:48 AM
eatonte: Are you looking at these things as beds?
gw3nd0lyn: and it would be nice to have after we move outta here
gw3nd0lyn: well yeah
gw3nd0lyn: tell me you wouldn't like the leverage a hammock would give you
eatonte: leverage?
gw3nd0lyn: did i spell it wrong?
eatonte: I don't know? I didn't know what you meant by leverage?
gw3nd0lyn: you know...if this hammocks a rockin' don't come knocking
eatonte: Ohhhhh
eatonte: LEVERAGE.
gw3nd0lyn: HA!
Geez. I thought for a minute there that I was going to have to draw him a picture.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 16, 2001 at 04:44 PM
I forgot to mention I am STILL waiting for the second freaking check that was supposedly sent Friday.
Posted by gwendolyn on at 01:47 PM
I realize that the postal service is under quite a bit of stress lately. But so am I.
I finally got through to a person at the post office at my former residence. I explained to them that they incorrectly delivered my mail for the first two weeks in September prompting me to submit two different change of address forms to get the problem corrected. Then my mail was properly forwarded for all of one week and then suddenly, when THE most important mail of all is sent to me, it just stopped. Nothing for two weeks now from the old address. Fuckers.
I called them a week ago for them to tell me that my carrier was unavailable to talk to and they could do nothing for me. Their advice was for me to have the sender of the important mail cancel the enclosed check for $3,250.00, write me a new check, and resend it. So, she paid a fee to her bank and did. She wasn't pleased.Neither was I considering I had already waited a month for it.
So today, I get ahold of the Postmaster there who got the actual carrier that delivered to my actual apartment on the phone and she explains to me that she has been out of the office for the last ten days. Like I give a rats ass that she was out. Life goes on. Mail still needs delivered. Why hadn't it been? I called back and asked the Postmaster lady just why the hell it hadn't. She didn't have much to say except that it was supposed to have been and wasn't. She said that the carrier was sorting it today and I should receive it within the next few days. Bitch. Who the hell makes a person that irresponsible a postmaster? Okay so, when you have a business that depends on a certain person to deliver a certain amount of goods to a large number of people, don't you think it would be best to find someone to fill that roll if the person was not going to be around for two fucking weeks?
"Can't I just pick it up?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"It will be there in a few days, Ma'am."
She should be glad I don't have access to a car at the moment.
Posted by gwendolyn on at 01:31 PM
I am working on my lesson plans for the preschool co-op that I am hosting next month. I am trying my best to find "season" themed children's songs. I have four days worth of material to produce. The sessions are only two hours, one day per week. Should be fairly simple, right? I have to have the four lesson plans, activities, snacks, and one field trip planned. I am not going to incorporate too many Thanksgiving feast related things into it. We all agreed that we would bypass doing the dinner thing. I am very happy about that. I need to search our home library for stories to read to them. I really should have started this a couple of weeks ago. Ack.
Hope is going nuts over all of the children's songs I just downloaded! Happy little campers= Rockin' Mom Points!
Posted by gwendolyn on at 10:36 AM
It seems Mr. Zeldman has a different name for workout shoes than I do. Hmm.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 15, 2001 at 08:54 PM
I added some new links. I mentioned before that I read a lot of different stuff I just don't list them all like most folks do. So here are a few others. I may leave them all up here. I may not.
Posted by gwendolyn on at 05:12 PM
The mail lady had better have my money here in the next two days or shit is going to hit the fan in a huge way people.
Posted by gwendolyn on at 04:07 PM
I may have the opportunity to go on my very first little trip to New Orleans with my husband alone in November. We have never done that. Well, except for our honeymoon. I wouldn't know how to act! Think of all the workout shoes I would have to pack for four days! :)
Well, I honestly don't think I could leave my babies for four whole days. I have separation anxiety when it comes to them. Like a brand new mom on her first night out after the birth. Only I have it all the time. I also can't see spending the money on it either since I am doing SO well at getting our shit together now. What I REALLY would like is for my monkey not to go and just stay here with us. Now that sounds like a good idea!
Posted by gwendolyn on at 03:52 PM
Fuck the terrorists. I am getting my RV next year and I am going to do what I want. So there.
Posted by gwendolyn on at 12:54 PM
We took a drive to make one of our semi-regular drops at the donation place. We stopped for a few groceries on the way home. I was getting a little cabin fever but while I was out I really just wanted to come home. I wanted to go to the beach but when we drove over, I didn't want to get out of the van. These are such strange days.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 14, 2001 at 03:21 PM
I received an email today from someone I don't know. I don't get mail regarding my site often, so when I do, I get very critical of myself. I have spent some time today reading through the treasures in my attic. I really hadn't done that for a very long time. The thought crosses my mind that my writing has changed drastically over the last year. I miss me. The old me. The me who lived on my own terms. Who had dreams and plans. I have lost sight of everything.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 13, 2001 at 01:31 AM
Let's hear a round of applause for my overall debt reduction of $2,007.00 in the last 21 days! Okay, so I am the only one who really cares. I am clapping people.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 11, 2001 at 03:53 PM
Since Hope decided that I was not sleeping last night, I made our lunches for the preschool co-op at about 5:45 this morning. These lunches consisted of a peanut butter and strawberry preserve sandwich, applesauce with cinnamon, and Mott's Applejuice drink boxes. While I was at it I made one for the monkey who usually enjoys starving himself all day and then practically falling through the door when he gets home complaining of headache and dizziness. Here is what he had to say about my maternal efforts...
gw3nd0lyn: have you eaten?
eatonte: Yep. Felt like a schoolboy.
gw3nd0lyn: is that a good thing or a bad thing?
eatonte: hehe
eatonte: It was odd being thirty and having a juice box.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 10, 2001 at 12:44 PM
I am glad to report that Hope's bootie looks tons better.There has been a second case of Anthrax reported near us.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 08, 2001 at 11:22 AM
I haven't had much to say. Mostly, I am okay one minute and freaking out the next. Spending my days enjoying scrutinizing every little penny that is coming in and going out. Meticulously planning future attacks on my credit card debt, estimating a way to speed up a date for my financial freedom one minute, feeling that there may not be a future and obssessing that we may all die by morning the next. Normal me stuff. I am starting to accept that this is my personality. Fucked up as it may be. I guess I always thought I came through the shithole that was my life up to now pretty much unscathed and maybe a little stronger for having survived it. Obviously not. It just so happens that my emerging tendencies are even making the people whom I viewed as "a little off" worried. Tonight around 10ish, I wanted to take Hope to the ER because she has a strange welt like rash on her bootie that has been bothering her for about a week now. Suddenly, it looks like it is getting much worse (possibly because she has scratched herself up now). What I had blown off for the past few days is of dire emergency now. Are there any skin irritation symptoms for Anthrax or the West Nile Virus? What other biological or chemical deadly thing could it be that would make my baby's bootie red and swollen and itchy? Yes, these are the things running through my head. Yes, I will be searching all night for possible causes. I even considered taking a picture of it to send to my mother so she could tell me it was horrible enough to take her in.
Now you know... when you make the crazy people nervous there is something not quite right. It is a good thing that someone already loves me because if I had to be perpetually worried and was still single and doing that whole thing, trying to bag a man and all that jazz, I am sure this paranoia/depression thing would be a total turnoff. Yeah, it is a good thing my monkey already suspected I was nuts before hand :)
We are being very good little budget following tightwads. We made it through a whole weekend without impulsive shopping and wasting gas. We were more conservative at the grocery (although we could have lived without the frozen Red Baron Pizzas and the cheese curls). I even fought off the urge to make a slew of long distance telephone calls. I have discovered that our phone bill is one of the largest monthly expenses we have, and yet I am the only one who ever calls anyone. Hmmmmmmm. So all y'all need to learn the value of email and Instant Messenger and get online more often so I can rant and freak out on you via type instead because I am officially grounding myself from making any long distance calls for awhile. No offense intended. Those of you who know me also know how hard I am trying to get out of debtor's prison here. I am totally rocking at it right now in a HUGE way. The big payday better get here soon. I am downright tired of thinking about it. So I won't. I will just keep on keeping on. Every little thing we are doing is helping. I have to keep that in focus.
Posted by gwendolyn on at 12:43 AM
I am waiting. It seems I am endlessly waiting.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 04, 2001 at 02:53 PM
There is a lizard loose in my house. This isn't the first time this has happened since we moved in. Two lizards in one week is a little much. Don't you think so too? I don't like lizards. Well, let me say that a little differently, I like lizards outside. I like them far away from me. I don't like them in my bathroom, on my dining room wall, or hiding in my water heater closet. It is freaking me out.
Posted by gwendolyn on October 02, 2001 at 12:32 PM