Buddy The Elf, What's Your Favorite Color?

We tried to go to the wood furniture store today to look for a nice big desk for my piles of junk, and possibly some sort of shelving unit to put around the television in the living room so that I could hide various piles of junk behind cabinet doors. The kids have suddenly forgotten that in order to avoid coal in their stockings they must use their powers for good instead of evil and our shopping trip was short lived.
Then we went to a little diner we had never been to. We proceeded to spend the next two hours with Buddy the Elf crossed with Jim Carey in The Grinch crossed with Jack from Will and Grace who looked remarkably like Al Franken. It was both scary and extremely amusing. He was perhaps the strangest waiter I have ever met to date. On top of being highly quirky he basically told the kids they could not have Coke because it would make them too hyper and then brought them three mugs of cocoa with whipped cream and chocolate syrup on top. He randomly talked to himself and was generally loud and annoying to his co-workers. He repeated things over and over under his breath in a distinctive flaming tone. He made smart ass comments when we asked for things and could not keep himself from acting generally creepy. He nearly sat on my lap while we ordered but I suspect he was more interested in my husband more than me. Then after we were finished he made sarcastic comments, half under his breath, about the fact that neither Terry nor I finished our steamed broccoli. Nearly everything he did or said made us look at each other and laugh or at the very least raise our eyebrows in silent understanding that he might just be a little mentally ill. Someday we may visit him again. Maybe.
We then went to the mall. Just to see fake snow and sparkly stuff and faux Christmas cheer. Instead we fought mobs, screamed at stupid teenage girls for nearly running over Hope with wheelchairs they very obviously didn't need since there was a stack of girls on each one, and basically got about half way through the midway and decided it was not such a good idea. My boots were killing my feet for some reason and if I didn't get out of there I was going to start knocking people's heads together. Not very cheery like.
So then another hour grabbing last minute food stuff in Publix and we finally got home. A foot massage and two rum and cokes later and I am better.
Ho freaking Ho.
On the bright side, we have the next couple of days to relax, eat, sleep, cuddle and be generally merry. Just need to get the gifts wrapped and we will be okay.
Posted by gwendolyn on December 23, 2003 at 10:06 PM