This World Of Piss

Isn't it bad when weeks can have a theme song? I am feeling so Trent Reznor this week. Like nothing will ever be right no matter what, like no matter what I do to make things better it gets twisted into something fucked up and ends up just making me miserable. These people, this place. I don't recognize the world anymore. It is all so hateful and fake. No one cares about anyone. I almost wrote this huge thing the other night about laying in bed and thanking God for everything I have and the air I breathe and the ability to sleep on my stomach. Then I thought about how I wouldn't really talk ever about it because even though I have always wanted to believe there is a God and that there is something good out there watching over all of us I find it harder everyday especially when a lot of the people preaching and judging are so hypocritical. All I see around me, outside of my safe little family bubble, convinces me otherwise. People are a disease.

hey God why are you doing this to me?
am i not living up to what i’m supposed to be?
why am i seething with this animosity?
hey God i think you owe me a great big apology
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
hey God i really don’t know what you mean.
seems like salvation comes only in our dreams.
i feel my hatred grow all the more extreme.
hey God can this world really be as sad as it seems
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
don’t take it away from me.
i need someone to hold on to.
don’t take it away from me.
i need someone to hold on to
hey God, there’s nothing left for me to hide.
i lost my ignorance, security and pride.
i’m all alone in a world you must despise.
hey God, i believed that promises, your promises and lies
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
you made me throw it all away.
my morals left to decay.
how many you betray.
you’ve taken everything
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
my head is filled with disease.
my skin is begging you please.
i’m on my hands and knees
i want so much to believe.
don’t take it away from me.
i need someone to hold on to.
don’t take it away from me.
i need someone to hold on to
i give you everything.
my sweet everything
hey God, i really don’t know who i am.
in this world of piss

terrible lie - pretty hate machine-nin

I have to get out of here. If I don't I may explode. Let's hope next week gets better.

Posted by gwendolyn on November 07, 2003 at 02:48 PM