Stupid McAsshole's School of Music

This must be the week for odd educational institutions, or something.

So we actually have names on our dance card today. It will most likely be a repeat of last week's afternoon at the pool. That is okay except for the fact that I really need a new swim suit and my face is still punishing me from covering it with Waterbabies last weekend. I really need to find something lighter with the same protection but that won't make my skin freak out. It doesn't like anything on it really. Make up, soap and moisturizers included. My face prefers to be naked no matter what I like to put on it.

We all went to the music education store down the street yesterday. They offer individual or group classes and from what I am told the pricing is pretty standard. However, the older man who owns the store is a complete freak. I got really bad vibes from him right off the bat. I instantly knew there was no way I was leaving any of my kids at that place unattended. That is my instant reaction to the bad vibe thing. Later my bad first impression was validated.

Last night on the playground I was told some odd stories by one of my neighbors about how he corners students to talk about the financial problems he may have with their parents and demands payment from them, instead of just telling them that he really needs to talk to their parents, or whatever.

Also, while we were there he got flustered and acted all freaky because I asked him if he sold Flute sheet music by Ian Anderson. He shook his head at me and proceeded to tell me how they only carry classical and inspirational music. Like I was a freak. Excuse me. Then two minutes later led me to the place where they keep all ten pieces of Flute music they carry which was right beside a rack of various rock and pop guitar and piano music. Okay, whatever. I wanted to say something about having to go to a real music store to find what I needed.

Another lady that came in after us inquired about the possibility of a day class for her three year old because her older sister would be in school after his offer of an afternoon class didn't fit well with her schedule. He practically stomped his feet and threw a tantrum like she was being extremely difficult to work with.

He insisted the girls should start on Keyboards and I nearly thought there was some valid reasoning for that until the three year old girl that belonged to the other lady was offered Violin. She was even younger than my two girls and had no prior experience either. It was as if he had absolutely no interest in what the children may want to learn, he just randomly picked whatever and then randomly made up fees and deposits for instrument rental off the top of his head. There was a younger guy there who was trying to explain a price sheet for the actual lessons to me and the older man kept interrupting and throwing in more prices, usually upping the printed ones by about $5.00 each.

My neighbor's daughter takes electric guitar lessons there and he insisted upon registration that she supply him with a signed paper consenting to debiting her checking account and she gave him this signed form with her account number and routing number and now after two months he has suddenly lost it and wants her to pay him by check too. He can't promise that the other person who actually does the books won't find the form and then debit her account anyway. It sounds like a crock of shit to me. I still can't believe she would be so stupid as to sign something like that and just give him all her account info.

My mind keeps wandering back to the fact that nearly no one in my family ever took lessons to play guitar and still managed to become pretty talented at it and that even though it would probably be the easiest and most proper way to learn, it is not impossible to teach yourself. Also, the husband/dad of the mother and daughter that are coming over today owns a guitar store and plays extremely well. He has offered to help Logan learn some things after he has initially learned to read music and learn the basics on the instrument. He plays by ear and doesn't know how to read music. However, he is really good at it. So, why couldn't Logan and I get some beginner books and figure it out on our own? The biggest thing it would require is purchasing a guitar. Which we would have to buy anyway. If it didn't work out we could always resell it. Maybe in the process we could find someone sane to help.

So I want the children to learn whatever instrument they want. The girls are always begging me for a turn at trying my flute when I do play for them so I think that it wouldn't hurt to maybe get them started with Recorder after all. After talking to this guy about the possibility of the girls learning Recorder as a precursor to learning Flute he insisted that I do not know what I am talking about. He said that they are in no way related at all and it would not help to first learn Flute to learn Recorder later, he led me over to the Recorder sheet music and told me that I could also play any of it on Flute just the same. Um, duh. I thought they weren't in any way related.

I ended up purchasing a very easy Disney movie theme song book for Recorder that I could learn and play for the children to spark their interest a little. The classical music for Flute looked appealing and all grown up but since I need a refresher course I need to know what the songs are supposed to sound like while I am relearning to play properly. I actually spotted the very first song book I ever learned on the shelf. I wanted to buy it so much. I wish I had my old one. I don't know why I don't. That is so sad. I was in fourth grade. I may go back and get it later. I will use the excuse that I need it for the kids later. Then Terry will have to suffer through Row Row Your Boat and When the Saints Go Marching In like I am nine years old again. Woohoo!

They had a great time last night singing along while I stumbled through site reading songs from The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast. I am so rusty but after playing for about an hour I started to actually sound like I knew what I was doing. My flute actually sounded like it wasn't broken so I am starting to wonder if it wasn't me that just couldn't hit the notes properly. Go me! So that idea worked out good. Mr. McAsshole also tried to sell me a Christmas song book that included an accompaniment cassette tape with it but what the hell am I going to do with a cassette tape unless I plan to sit in Ferris while I play? That is the only cassette player we own now. Not to mention he called the cassette tape a CD several times while he was trying to sell it to me which annoyed me greatly. Dork.

I did see a book with Phantom of the Opera in it that I wouldn't mind having. We played a Phantom of the Opera medley in school so I am sure I could relearn that pretty easily too. I need easy practice songs until I get all up to speed. I did find the Ian Anderson Flute Solo book I was looking for on Overstock.com for practically nothing last night so that thrilled me a little. I will maybe order it this weekend. So anyway, I am a geek. Bite me.

In other news, I am glad the Marlins won last night but for the love of God someone make those men stop spitting so freaking much. I am completely tired of watching them spit various things all over the place.

Posted by gwendolyn on October 16, 2003 at 10:46 AM