Bring It On

I spoke to my surgeon today. He asked me when I want to have the ileostomy reversed and I quickly told him as soon as possible. He is going to get back to me to confirm the exact operation date but it will be taking place on or near the first Friday in March. I can go in for the lower GI study anytime between now and then (oh joy.) and then after a few days of being off blood thinners the last week of February I will go in for the Sigmoidoscopy(even more joy). I am extremely terrified of all three things so I wish I could just get in there and be done with it now. He said that he knows how scared I am and that I shouldn't worry about the sigmoidoscopy because "I will be sedated and not remember a thing." Uh yeah, that is why the last two times I have been sedated I have felt and been aware of some pretty horrible things happening to me and why every person in the room all just ignored my crying and pleading for help. He also said again that it was going to be a very simple operation and that he knows I have been told that before but it should really be a lot easier than what I have been through. Ummmmm yeah. I should believe that because why? Okay, so I am scared out of my freaking mind. There is a very slight chance the third time is a charm and I won't wake up this time. Or worse I will wake up and then have a very long painful death. I don't get much of a choice now do I? Whatever, let's just get on with it.

Posted by gwendolyn on January 30, 2003 at 06:20 PM