It has been a long week (she says as she hooks her arm up to the IV). I have been home the whole time. I think it is a record! Thankfully, I am doing okay if you consider the shit I have to deal with everyday an okay way to live. If you can't already tell, I am bitter about this whole no energy, sore all over, tubes and bags hanging off of me thing. Yet no matter how sore and tired I am it is still good to be sleeping in my warm bed, eating real food, wearing a couple of my own outfits (I can't fit into most of my clothes now), being able to go outside and drive around in my car and most of all being with my family. It beats the hell out of being on constant display at the hospital in my backless gown and my morning wakeup call being a big angry woman with a huge needle and the blood drawing skills of a camel. Not to mention the surgical staff's obvious disinterest in anything remotely having to do with fixing me. I have three doctors appointments over the next week and a half and I have absolutely no one to sit with my children. Two of my appointments are on the same day. That will mean an entire afternoon devoted to sitting in the clinic (with children in tow). I don't know what to do about that. My mom went home today. I cried. She has helped me so much. She is supposed to come back sometime. I don't know when yet. It is going to be very hard to do everything by myself. I can barely get from sitting to standing alone. Where is all my strength and willpower now? I don't know either.

Posted by gwendolyn on December 31, 2002 at 08:18 PM