I know it seems I have dropped off the face of the Earth. In a lot of ways I have. I am still hanging around the hospital with horrible fuzzy Morphine masked pain and no one wearing a white jacket can seem to agree with any of the other white jackets what to do for me or about me.

They did move me to a very nice coner room at the very end of a very long hallway. One with a wall made of glass so that I can see the staff parking lot, Weston Road, trees and sky,the helecopter pad right next to my room, and the rooftops and treelines of Weston in the distance. I think my complete lack of composure, feelings of self pity, hopelessness and exhaustion prompted one of the nices nurses here to try to do something to lift me up. To a degree it has. I have the windows open the entire six inches they will allow so that I can here the sounds of the rest of the world and feel a breeze. I am sick of hospital smells and sounds. The smell of an alcohol swab makes me cringe now. I would have never thought that would happen. I guess it is all about sensory association. I will never be able to drink another lemon flavored thing in my life thanks to the contrast I so reluctantly drank and then not-so-politely spewed all over the CT Scan room last week.

Posted by gwendolyn on December 10, 2002 at 11:06 AM