Sometimes a method of doing something, such as educating children, seems exciting because it is new (to you at least) and shiny and looks wonderful to you even when you have barely scratched the surface of what it is all about. Sometimes there are lots of parts of that method you get exposed to in your daily interaction with people practicing that method that draw your interest in further and that appeal to you even when in the begining you don't understand the reasons behind them. This way of doing things seems to fit a certain type of people. You think maybe you are this type of person. From an outside point of view it seems great. The children seem to be developing wonderfully, the parent teaches material smoothly, creatively and effectively and it is all seemingly effortless and natural and appropriate for all involved. You compare this to your style. You become critical of yourself. You think to yourself that your way of doing things might be the wrong way compared to this new way. You think that your days don't seem effortless or smooth and sometimes you don't feel as though you are being so creative and effective. So, you decide that you want to know more. You have an open mind. You are willing to try new things. You are willing to see if this other way is, in fact, a better way. You are not like a lot of people who just dismiss everything that isn't familiar and never try anything new. So, you spend a great deal of time learning all of the how's and why's and get beyond the surface to really get to know the new method. You read everything you can, you talk to people who have strong convictions about the benefit of this method. You spend a lot of time and money putting together materials and thoughts and ideas. Then as you are digging deeper into the whole thing, you come across a lot of fundamental ideas behind this method that you don't agree with. You start to examine the reasoning behind some of the things that once looked wonderful and you realize that it doesn't seem all that wonderful after all. You start to look back at your old ways of doing things and realize that you miss it. You chose those ways for a reason. Your reason. You had convictions about your methods. You had very valid reasons for doing what was right for you and your children. You weren't a follower.Things weren't all that wrong with your way. Sure, there needed to be some adjustments. Otherwise you wouldn't have doubted your way to begin with. Something just doesn't sit right with you about this new way though. There are still a lot of valuable parts of it, but not all of it is up your alley. Can you take the surface bits and pieces that drew you in to begin with and apply them to your own method? Can you just leave the rest out? Those people who look so comfortable using this method, they don't think that is the right thing to do. Suddenly all the shiny newness wears off of this method... and these people.

Yeah, I rambled. No, it didn't have to make sense to anyone but me.

Posted by gwendolyn on May 20, 2002 at 05:55 PM