I am awake. It is stupid o'clock in the morning. I am weaning myself from the drugs that make my limbs feel bonded and my mind heavy. So I am not comfortable. I can't stand laying all day in a stupor though. I am also up thinking about all of the things I just haven't been dealing with through this whole thing. The children's schoolwork, finances, and housework are the top three things on the list at the moment. The fact that Savannah's birthday is coming and I should be getting ready for it and the company that comes with such events, including my mother in law coming to stay is weighing on me also. I can't prepare right now. That bothers me. I am not pulling my weight. I didn't plan on this. I didn't ask for it. I thought that by not having an entourage of family memebers coming here to handle everything would make things simpler. I am not sure if that helped or made it worse. He is doing a great job juggling everything. I just feel bad that it is so stressful for him.

Posted by gwendolyn on March 28, 2002 at 05:01 AM