I want a garden of my own. I want to cook with fresh herbs freshly cut from pretty little pots on the window sill. I want to make bread from scratch and my own peanut butter. I want to watch my kids play outside in fresh air, green grass, and sunshine. I want to feel soft grass under my bare feet. I want us all to smile and be happy. I want my children to feel good about their lives. I want them to have meaningful lasting relationships with people who care about them. I want to be optimistic. I want to teach my children everything they should know. More importantly, I want to teach them the meaning and importance of love and tolerance and understanding. I want to be more loving, tolerant and understanding. I want to sing and dance more and yell and cry less. I want to be able to reason with a screaming two year old. I want to pay off my debt faster than I already am. I want to reach a point in my life when I don't owe anyone anything financially or otherwise. I want to stop being afraid. I want something, anything, I have to say to interest someone besides myself. I want a five year plan that doesn't consist of saving up a down payment for a converted missle silo and stockpiling survivalist supplies. I want to lose the weight I have gained sitting here hiding from my life, feeling discouraged by everything that has happened, and watching television. I want to commit to Veganism and keep my promises to myself. I want more comfy snuggly clothes in smaller sizes than what I own to fit me well. I want my kids to eat more veggies and less fat and sugar. I want to stop worrying about every single thing in the entire world. I want my hair to return to it's original color, length, and vitality. I want to erase all of the really bad shit that has happened in my lifetime but since I can't have that I want closure for people who need it and justice for those who deserve it. I want the human race to stop fucking everything up. I want a good future for my children and their children and for generations on down the line. I want my hopes and dreams back. Yes, I want all of these things. I want all of these things selfishly. Not necessarily in the order they are listed. Nevertheless, I want them. I am sure it is a bad thing to want so much when so many have nothing. I can't help it.
Posted by gwendolyn on September 30, 2001 at 03:35 AM