It is odd to think about the fact that these people who are doing this used resources such as our local library computers to email each other via Hotmail. One of the branches they used is 8.86 miles from my front door. I don't want to take my children to the library now. (not that I could because Hope would surely get us kicked out for throwing a fit over some Elmo video or some such thing) I don't want to go out to eat. I don't want to go to the mall. I don't want to go to the grocery store. I cannot believe we were out this past weekend at all. What were we thinking?

I had a dream last night where people, whom I couldn't really see clearly, had knives and were chasing me and appearing out of nowhere, looming in shadows and I just ran and ran and was never safe. They were everywhere.

Everyone is returning to normal. I keep catching site of children riding their bikes down the street toward or from school and I wonder how their parents stand to send them out the door alone. I confess have resisted opening my children's bedroom blind for the last couple of days because I don't want anyone coming up the stairs to be able to see that it is a children's room for fear that they may come back in the middle of the night and break in through the window. I have always been this way. Always. Just never this consistently. I thought I had run far enough away from all of the people who scare me. Now I feel like there is no where I can run to be okay. I opened their blind so that they might see some sunshine today. Then as I was straightening their room I saw someone come up the stairs and toward our front door from the corner of my eye and it scared the hell out of me. My heart raced. I startled and almost dropped what I was holding.

It was the UPS man.

Posted by gwendolyn on September 18, 2001 at 02:08 PM