Where to start...

The wedding was beautiful. I am not sure about the dinner or the reception because we were in our room with our tired restless children. They lasted through about four hours of being dressed up and well mannered. I can't blame them really. Nothing seemed to go as planned from the start. It was an exhausting trip. I had a lot to say about the whole ordeal. But I don't think I have what it takes to write the whole story down today. I am a bit distracted. Besides, it is all fairly unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

My Great Grandma Marie died Friday. We were on the Turnpike.

Her funeral was yesterday. We were on the Turnpike again.

It came and went and I was oblivious. I wasn't here for the call that I had been expecting for months. I can't reach out to my family to tell them how sorry I am. I can't call anyone. I can't go anywhere. I didn't get to say goodbye. It haunts me. Things happen around me and the overwhelming feelings of sadness fade for a few minutes or hours and then, when it is quiet again and I am left with nothing but my own thoughts, it wells up again. I don't know what to do with what I am feeling today.

Posted by gwendolyn on March 27, 2001 at 09:19 AM