I still haven't made cookies for the art show. I think I may have to just buy some. School work has pretty much taken up all of our time. It is hard to explain the entire concept of early immigration and the trauma of Ellis Island to a second grader.

I am in some sort of a downward spiral today. I don't know what it is. I woke up feeling exhausted again. I must be running from something in my dreams again. Maybe I need some fresh air. This apartment is suffocating me. I really can't think of anywhere to go today though. There is so much that needs to be done here.

I spoke to my mother last night regarding my great grandmother being in a nursing home. It is estimated that her insurance is only going to cover a few days of her stay. After they stop paying, it will cost approximately $100.00 per day for her to be there. Is it me or does that sound a little insanely over priced? She isn't requiring any special machines or unusual medical attention. She is basically just there so that she can be watched. She is eating now. That is a good thing. I think. It is so hard to know. Maybe she stopped eating because she was ready to die. Maybe she wants to die. It is a selfish thing for me to want her to live. To her, living means suffering. I don't want that. It is so complicated.

Posted by gwendolyn on January 24, 2001 at 11:12 AM