I am wondering about my great grandmother. I have heard nothing all weekend. I keep fighting the urge to call and yell at people for not keeping me updated every two hours. I should be using this time to log school activities and work on some writing. But I can’t.

I don't have a clue what is powering me at the moment. I should be passed out cold. Instead, I am, once again, taking mental inventory and price tagging everything I see in my apartment. This is a sickness.

I am usually more inclined to donate everything I own to charity or to a homeless person on the street when I decide it is time to move on. For some reason I keep thinking that if I could just get a few grand out of everything I own I could have a nice little start on a down payment for a "road warrior" mobile housing unit type thing:) So suddenly, I am conducting a giant moving sale in my head! I also keep thinking about the "kid's stuff" factor. I couldn’t ask them to give up anything that is really important to them. I discussed this issue for the zillionth time with my oldest little person today. He was completely into the idea. I suggested some of the items that would definitely go with us and then he quickly chimed in that a lot of the rest of the items in his toy box were either broken or he just didn't need them anymore for various reasons. I think if he had his choice, he would leave tomorrow.

Despite the fact that we miss certain people, places and things from the past, my children are highly mobile little creatures. Aside from our frequent road trips of different sorts, they have been relocated several times in their little lifetimes. They adjust well, probably better than I do, and we are pretty tight as a family. We are each other’s best friends. That is something to treasure. It is a rarity. Still, I would love for them to get out of “these four walls” and see some things and meet some people and get some real views on the world.

Since we are already a home educating family, traveling provides ample opportunity to make learning interesting without having to put a lot of concentration into books and packaged curriculum. We are a computer-based family to begin with. My oldest has his own iMac, my middle child has her own PC, I have an iBook and my husband has a Powerbook. Yes, he is crying and whining now that the new one is out :) If my baby plays her cards right she will be hooked up soon enough.

Aside from the enormous collection of educational software, we have adapted an eclectic approach to learning. For example, to enhance our workbook completion of time, money, and fractions, we bought the oldest little person a watch, started a Parentbanc account, and let them help cook and play with the assorted measuring items that are in the house. It amazes me the amount of practical learning they get each day without even really planning it out.

Being naturally analytical, my oldest little person finds a way to incorporate science and critical thinking into every thing he sees. He is quizzical and determined to figure out “the reason why” everything is the way it is. That makes my job as his teacher so much easier.

They all love books. My oldest learned to read at age five. His sisters both enjoy being read to. The hardest thing for me to decide on as far as becoming mobile is what I am going to do about our book collection.

Still the thing that strikes me as odd about my wanting to travel so much, is that I completely love the town I live in, aside from the people, that is. It is beautiful here. I don't even have to leave it immediately. I could hang out here for a while longer. I think my need for freedom mostly stems from the feeling of being shackled to the monotony that is the conventional lifestyle. I am not a conventional person. I left the town I grew up in because the things that complicated my life there were haunting and suffocating me. I had separated myself from the situation and still could not deal with being “stuck” there. It didn’t seem to matter where I went or how we lived. It was still monotonous. I keep thinking that there must be some reason for what is driving me toward this with such determination.

I spent the last few years hopping from one “home” to the next. Thinking each would be the thing that made me happiest. At each point in time, it was the right decision for that point in my life. Our lives. Each choice we have made guided us forward into a better future. Every step came with conflict, trials, and hardships. Every move had its good points and its bad points. I have regrets about certain decisions, but not about the actual moving.

The truth is, that if my husband decided that he wanted to stay here until old age, I would park it and be happy making fun of his new crow’s feet and his random gray hair. If he decided that he wanted to move to Siberia I would go out tomorrow and invest in some really warm battery powered socks for all of us.

It excites me to think that we might be on the same page though. It is comforting and heart-warming to know that there is someone out there willing to put up with me. The reasons we started moving around aren’t important. The fact that I have been supportive of his career changes and he has been very understanding of my insanity and supportive of all of my causes is. And the children are just so loving and go with the flow as far as life changes it is unreal. It is all just part of what makes us… “Us”. I am very fortunate to have that.

Posted by gwendolyn on January 16, 2001 at 12:42 AM