Life Fragmented
I found a picture tonight of me and my brother from 1986. It isn’t my bad 80’s hair or the fact that Barney Rubble is standing behind us that makes it weird. What is weird is that my most vivid memories of my brother are from when we were that age. I was in sixth grade. He was in first or second grade. I remember that day we fought a lot, like cats and dogs. At the time I thought this is how all siblings acted.
Though I saw him fairly regularly during his early teens, kind of from a distance. I ran into him in a doctors office once about six years or so ago. It was no more than a brief uncomfortable (for him) hello and goodbye. This was during a brief time when we moved back to our hometown before moving South.
I found another picture of him from 2001 that my mother gave me. He is about twenty-six. He doesn’t look like someone I know but he kind of looks familiar. I have a hard time seeing that little boy all grown up. All I can think about is how I let him down.
I am afraid to put the pictures up here. I would like to. I can’t. I am worried that it would be an invasion of his privacy if he were to know they were there. He already doesn’t want to be in my life. He thinks I wouldn’t want him in mine. How disconnected.
Posted 08/03/2005 08:11 PM